Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
