MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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