She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
