You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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