Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am available for nakedness
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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