when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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