He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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