Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
