Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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