On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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