i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
foreskin is a definite game changer
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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