And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
