yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
