Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
there is glitter all over my balls
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