your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
