"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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