Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
