I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
