Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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