I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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