There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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