I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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