the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
