Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
