I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
