what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
