So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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