so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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