Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize