I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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