Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
