evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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