So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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