i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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