Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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