Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
