i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I met the friendliest cop last night
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
