Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
