If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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