Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
is wine microwaveable?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
