if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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