Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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