I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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