it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
