I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize