i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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