ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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