I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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