google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize