So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
