I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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