I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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