i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We're too hungover to prance.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
