WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
