Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
