David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
