I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
