Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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