im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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