I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
