Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you đ
He said I have the âDenzel Washingtonâ of vaginas.
itâs my vagina i can do what i want to
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
