I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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