Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My balls are so social today.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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