I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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