We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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